


someday, girl (I don't know when)

by seilermoon



Series: we belong to the light (we belond to the thunder) [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-25 23:22:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seilermoon/pseuds/seilermoon
Summary: And then Alex forgets even the last voice in the back of her mind telling her to stop and she fists her hand in Kelley's shirt and then she closes the gap between them and her lips meet Kelley's and -oh.Oh.Is this it?Is this what it feels like?To be -in love?





	someday, girl (I don't know when)

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo.. I felt kinda inspired by everything that's happened in the last few days/weeks and so I started writing. I don't know if this is something someone would want to read. I'll post it as a oneshot for now, but probably continue it, once I find the time to do so.  
> Anyway, enjoy (or don't) and let me know what you think or if you have any ideas or suggestions :)

It isn't love at the first sight.  
  
Or the second.  
  
Or the third.  
  
It takes a while for Alex to even _l_ _ike_ Kelley.  
  
It's not that Kelley's a bad person.  
  
In fact, she's such a good person. She's sweet and kind and funny and talented.  
  
Maybe that's the problem.  
  
Alex wants to be the best.  
  
But Kelley is always better.  
  
So Alex decides she doesn't like her.  
  
Which is stupid, because they could be really good friends. They have so much in common, their love for soccer, obviously, but also their competitiveness, their need to succeed, to proof themselves. They could learn from each other.  
  
And Kelley tries to be Alex' friend.  
  
She sticks close to Alex and tells her everything she needs to know, about camp and the games and training and the staff and the little things. Like who gives the best massages or who tapes an ankle the best. Or that coffee at the hotels usually isn't recommendable.  
  
And Alex smiles at her, but it's forced.  
  
It's silly.  
  
Kelley plays her last games for the U20s, Alex her first, and after this tournament Kelley - and with her Alex' biggest competition - will be gone.  
  
So why bother?  
  
Alex watches Kelley score in every single game of the tournament, but at the end, when they've finished second after Canada and qualified for the U20 World Cup (thanks to Kelley, who won't even get to play there), all Kelley talks about is Alex' first goal for a national team, how freaking awesome it was, how great a player she is, how far she'll go.  
  
"You're gonna be the best. I can feel it." Kelley tells her and her smile is so soft and her words are so honest. "You probably already are. You just don't know it yet."  
  
Alex is touched by Kelley's words and then suddenly, not even slowly, but from one moment to the other, Alex _likes_ Kelley.

And now that they're both invested in this new relationship it doesn't take long for them to become friends.  
  
They're both still in college and the distance between Stanford and Berkley is short enough for them to visit once a month.  
  
Kelley gets drafted to FC Gold Pride, playing her first professional season. Having Alex close is just a bonus.  
  
Then Alex gets drafted to WNYF as the first pick and when FC Gold Pride folds, Kelley goes to play for the Breakers.  
  
They're best friends by now, with way too many inside jokes, long calls and more than enough selfies of the two of them.  
  
They play for the national team together and the two of them and Tobin are inseparable. They're the young ones on the team, even though Tobin was at the last Olympics. Alex gets called baby horse and she hates it, but then Kelley calls her stallion at night in their room and between laughs Alex doesn't know what she prefers.  
  
Kelley doesn't make the World Cup roster for Germany.  
  
Alex does.

She's the youngest.  
  
Kelley calls Alex and congratulates her.  
  
"I told you. Remember? I told you you'd be the best."  
  
"I'm not the best. There's Abby and-"  
  
"You _are,_ Al. You're the best. Believe me."  
  
Alex can hear and feel that she means every word of it and she wonders how she deserved a friend like Kelley.  
  
Then Lindsay Tarpley tears her ACL and suddenly Kelley is on her way to Germany to play in the World Cup.  
  
"Alex." She calls her from a cab on her way to the airport. "Did you hear about Tarpley?"  
  
"Well, yes, Pia said she's looking for the right replacement and-"  
  
Her driver's honking loudly and Alex stops mid-sentence.  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"I'm the replacement."  
  
"You're what?"  
  
"I'm going to Germany with you!"  
  
Alex doesn't know who is happier about that, Kelley or her. It's Tobin, they decide.  
  
Germany with Kelley feels amazing for Alex. The whole tournament, being in a bubble, the team, the games.  
  
Alex _loves_ it.  
  
They make it to the final and they all feel the pressure to win. To _finally_ win again.  
  
They lose.  
  
Alex is devastated and she's crying and Kelley holds her and rubs circles onto her back and kisses her head and Alex clings onto her and wonders again how she deserved a friend like Kelley.  
  
Looking back she always wondered if she already knew it then.

Alex holds records now, for being the youngest or the best and Kelley doesn't get sick of telling her "told you so". They may have lost against Japan, but a silver medal isn't the worst thing in the world.  
  
At least that's what they tell themselves.  
  
They're way too competitive and want and need to win way too badly to believe themselves.  
  
Then the league folds.  
  
Alex goes to Seattle to play for the Sounders Women. She has a boyfriend and he plays for the Sounders and Alex misses him, so Seattle seems right.  
  
She loves him.  
  
He's a good guy. He's handsome and kind and sweet and he cares about her.  
  
The pictures of him on Alex' phone are almost as many as of Kelley.  
  
Alex doesn't think about what that could mean.  
  
Or what it means that her background is her and Kelley, not her and Servando.  
  
In January Ali tears her ACL.  
  
Pia promises Kelley a spot on the Olympic roster.  
  
All she has to do is become an outside back.  
  
Kelley has played as a forward her whole life, she set records for scoring goals, for winning games, for being the best at finding the back of the net.  
  
"I don't know if I can do it."  
  
"Kell. You're the best. You can do _anything."_  
  
"No, Al. _You_ are the best. I'm just, I'm just Kelley-"  
  
"Stop it. Pia wouldn't have suggested it if she wasn't sure you could do it. She sees something in you. She _knows_ you can do it. _I_ know you can do it."  
  
Kelley gets really close to Hope. Hope, who takes her into her backline and makes sure that Kelley becomes the best replacement for Ali.  
  
Maybe Kelley is crushing.  
  
Maybe Alex doesn't care.  
  
Hope this, Hope that.  
  
Kelley talks about her _a_ _lot._  
  
Alex listens and she smiles and nods her head, but something feels.. weird. Wrong.  
  
Alex isn't jealous.  
  
She isn't.  
  
Who better to help Kelley than _Hope Solo?_ Alex tells herself, it's just for work. There's nothing behind it. And Hope does have a boyfriend, husband, whatever. But so does Alex.  
  
She doesn't know why her mind goes to the places it goes.  
  
Alex asks her one day if she has a crush on Hope.  
  
Kelley laughs wholeheartedly.  
  
"Who doesn't?"  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yeah, but you're straight, Al."  
  
"I'm- sure."  
  
Alex doesn't know why she's disappointed that Kelley thinks she's straight. She never labeled herself, she just happened to only date boys. Men. And she never really had crushes on women. Well, maybe she did. But appreciating someone's attractiveness or admiring them for how they are doesn't mean anything. That's what this is, Alex realizes. She simply thinks Kelley is pretty and smart and a talented player and that's what she admires. Nothing more.  
  
Kelley turns out to be great as an outside back.  
  
Alex feels like a proud mama.  
  
Alex is the big rising star on this team, next after Abby, and she gets so much attention. She starts getting used to the spotlight, to being in public, to being admired and loved.  
  
When Alex looks at Kelley and sees how far she's come, she thinks that it should be _Kelley_ who gets all the attention, not _her._  
  
They go to London for the Olympics and spend a few days preparing somewhere outside of town. They visit a castle from Harry Potter and try to play quidditch. Alex and Kelley are both way too competitive, and also way too bad.  
  
Kelley rooms with Hope.  
  
Pia probably thought it might help Kelley, sharing a room at the tournament with their number one keeper. And it probably does.  
  
Alex still isn't jealous.  
  
And she enjoys sharing a room with Tobin, because Tobin is great and awesome and Alex loves her.  
  
But she's not Kelley.  
  
Kelley, who has the habit of crawling into Alex' bed at night, pressing her cold feet against Alex' thighs and stealing the blanket.  
  
Alex always rolls her eyes, but never complains.  
  
She loves Kelley arms around her from behind and Kelley's breath on her neck.  
  
Kelley's always the big spoon. Well, not always, but most of the time. And it's a little bit weird because she's shorter, but it feels perfect.

And Alex loves it, loves Kelley's warm body close to hers and her skin on hers and how she feels pressed into her back and how Kelley always strokes her whole arm, from her shoulder down to her fingers, finally tangling them together and -  
  
oh.  
  
Oh.  
  
_Oh._  
  
Is this it?  
  
Is this-  
  
Alex doesn't want to think about it.  
  
She can't.  
  
So she focuses on Tobin.  
  
And the tournament.  
  
And the games.  
  
And she spends hours with Abby talking about scoring goals while Kelley spends hours with Hope talking about preventing goals.  
  
They play and they win and Kelley gets start after start and Alex feels good and she's proud and happy and-  
  
something else she's not ready to even think yet.  
  
So she pushes it down and enjoys the moments she gets with Kelley, mostly shared with the rest of the team, or with Tobin, but sometimes they're on their own.  
  
They take naps in Kelley's bed together and they cuddle and it calms and excites Alex' heart at the same time.  
  
Alex scores in the 123rd minute against Canada.  
  
Two fucking hours of football, of running, of giving their everything.

And Alex is the hero of the whole nation.  
  
The whole team.  
  
And Kelley.  
  
"Holy shit, Lex! You're a hero! Holy shit! You fucking did it! We're going to the final! You're my hero!"  
  
Kelley's arms around her are tight and Kelley is so close and Alex feels her and smells her and she likes it, she likes it so much.  
  
So she swallows whatever this is down.  
  
They have to win, god damn it.  
  
Of course they win.  
  
They win gold in London and Kelley buries her face in Alex' neck and Alex' face hurts from smiling and screaming and her eyes burn and her skin tingles and then -  
  
_oh._  
  
She's so sure Kelley just pressed a kiss to her neck.  
  
But it doesn't mean anything.  
  
They're Olympic Gold Medalists.  
  
They're excited and they hug and kiss and hold each other.  
  
Tobin presses a kiss to Alex' sweaty head after the game, so does Abby, who almost chokes her with her tight grip.  
  
But nothing compares to Kelley's lips on her neck.  
  
It lasted only a moment, but that moment makes Alex fly on cloud nine.  
  
She tries to tell herself that the high comes from winning. Not from Kelley's lips on her skin.  
  
She's not sure if she believes herself.

They celebrate in the lockerroom and back in the hotel and Alex and Kelley and a few others crash in one room together. There's not enough space on the beds, Pinoe, Syd and Mittsy share one, Cheney, Tobin and HAO the other and if they cuddled they could fit four on each bed, but Kelley and Alex don't want to split up.  
  
So Kelley grabs a blanket and a pillow and lies down on the floor between the beds and spreads her arms wide.  
  
"Come here, Lex." She says with a drunken laugh and Alex stumbles onto her knees and steadies herself on the beds.  
  
"I like it when you call me Lex."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah. You're the only one who does. It's nice."  
  
Mittsy pushes Alex' arm of the bed and she tumbles forward and onto Kelley, right into her open arms.  
  
And she just stays there, in Kelley's arms, her neck buried in her face and Kelley's arms on her back, holding her, rubbing small circles.  
  
And Alex takes a deep breath and she smells beer and sweat and Kelley's perfume and the scent of victory and friendship and -  
  
love?  
  
"You were amazing, Lex. I'm so proud of you." Kelley's voice is soft and raspy and close to her ear, and with a whisper she says:  
  
"I love you, Alex."  
  
Alex eyes shoot open and she tries not to tense up.  
  
Did she just -  
  
"You're like the best. The best player and the best friend and I love you."  
  
She loves me as a friend.  
  
Alex doesn't know why she feels -  
  
_disappointment?_  
  
"I love you too, Kelley."  
  
Alex falls asleep in Kelley's arms, with their feet tangled and Kelley's arms around her and penises drawn onto both of their faces in the morning.  
  
Alex loves these women way too much to hate them for being so childish.  
  
"Speaking of penises." Syd then says and Pinoe boohs. "You excited to go back to Seattle, Al? Seeing Serv again?"  
  
Alex face freezes.  
  
Serv.  
  
She has a boyfriend.  
  
A boyfriend of a few years, a boyfriend whom she loves.  
  
"I'm, like, so excited." She finally says and then Syd asks about them and their plans and Alex feels Kelley slowly drift away from her and not look in her direction and it's weird, but Syd keeps asking, so Alex looks at her and then suddenly -  
  
Kelley is gone.  
  
And Alex doesn't know why or where she went, so she excuses herself and tries to find her, but she's not in her room or at breakfast or elsewhere in sight.  
  
But then Alex remembers.  
  
And of course Kelley is there.  
  
On the roof of the hotel, where they aren't supposed to be, but they stumbled upon an entry a few days ago and came here together, because it was quiet and exclusive and they could be on their own.  
  
And Kelley's laying there, staring up at the sky, eyes wide open.  
  
"Hey, Alex." She says and Alex wonders how she knew it was her -  
  
"You're the only one who knows about this place." And of course Kelley knows what she's thinking.  
  
"Why did you leave?" Alex asks and she lies down next to Kelley, staring at the sky as well.  
  
"Don't know. Didn't feel good."  
  
"You okay?  
  
"Too much beer and champagne and wine probably."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"No? Yes? I don't know."  
  
"What's going on, Kelley?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Alex knows Kelley and Kelley knows that Alex knows her so she knows that Alex knows that she's lying.  
  
"Kelley."  
  
"I love you, Alex." Kelley says and she takes Alex' hand in hers and squeezes it so tightly.  
  
"I love you too, Kell." Alex responds, squeezing back.  
  
It's quiet for several minutes and all Alex feels is Kelley's hand in hers.  
  
And her mind is going a hundred miles per second, she's thinking about Servando and Kelley and soccer and home and Kelley and what she wants, from life, and now, and Kelley and-  
  
"Do you think that some things just aren't supposed to happen?"  
  
Alex turns her head to look at Kelley who's still staring up.  
  
"Like, you know the thing would be _perfect_ and you want it so _badly_ and you _love_ it and.. but it just isn't supposed to happen? Like, it's not in your path?"  
  
"How.. how do you know it's not in your path?"  
  
"..maybe it _is_ in my path. But it has it's own path, a path which I'm.. not on."  
  
Alex thinks about what Kelley said for days.

But then she's home and there's Servando and he missed her and she missed him too and he's so sweet and good and -  
  
Alex really loves him.  
  
But it's at night, with Serv's arms around her, arms that don't hold her the way she's used to, fingers that don't tangle with hers, that she wonders if you can love two people at the same time.  
  
Tobin texts her, she rented a house at the beach in California and Alex should come, they could train together, go surfing, enjoy the Californian sun.  
  
Alex tells Serv and he shrugs and says:  
  
"You do what you have to do."  
  
And he smiles and says he'll miss her but he'll only be a phone call away and then Alex goes to California to be with Tobin and -  
  
Kelley.  
  
Kelley, who's with Tobin as well and now it's the three of them together and Kelley jumps into Alex arms and tells her that she missed her and how good it is to see her again, but it's just been a week or two, so really not long, but Alex gets it.  
  
She gets it.  
  
Because she missed her from the moment she stepped onto the plane to Seattle.  
  
But now she's here, with Kelley, and the house has enough bed rooms for the three of them and a few guests, but Kelley decides in the middle of the first night that she'd rather stay in Alex' bed than alone in the next room, so every night they go to sleep in separate rooms, but every night Kelley slips into Alex' room and into her bed, under her covers and then her arms wrap around Alex and Alex feels like she can finally breathe again.  
  
They go to the beach and bury Tobin in the sand and they surf, well, Tobin and Kelley do, Alex just watches them or sits on Kelley's board, and sometimes she tries to stand up, with Kelley's hands on her hips to steady her and with each wave Alex doesn't know if she wants to ride the wave or let the wave throw her into Kelley.  
  
They go on runs together and work out and play soccer and cook together and Alex is sure that her and Kelley must drive Tobin crazy.  
  
But Tobin is chill and doesn't mind their weirdness.  
  
She also doesn't ask why Kelley comes out of Alex' room every morning.  
  
The nights are Alex' favourite part, because it means having Kelley for herself.  
  
Alex loves it.  
  
And she enjoys it. Three weeks into living together she decides to just enjoy the time with her, the touches, the cuddling, the closeness, and to not think about it.  
  
So Alex lets Kelley hold her and Kelley draws circles on her skin, it starts innocent, with her arm, but each night it gets further, up to Alex' ear and down her neck and the side of her back to her hips and Alex grabs Kelley's hand and plays with her fingers. And then she turns around and looks at Kelley's collar bone instead of her eyes, because she can't, she can't look into her eyes.  
  
Because she's afraid of what she might find.  
  
Because she's afraid of what she might _not_ find.  
  
Because she's afraid of what _Kelley_ might find in her _own_ eyes.  
  
So she focuses on the freckles on Kelley's collarbone. Which turns out to be a bad idea.  
  
Because Kelley has so many.  
  
_So_ many freckles.  
  
And they're _everywhere._  
  
And Alex traces them with her eyes and then with her fingers.  
  
And Kelley's touching her arm, stroking it oh so gently.  
  
And Alex feels Kelley's eyes on her, but she doesn't look up, doesn't let her eyes leave the map they're drawing on Kelley's body, from one freckle to another.  
  
And then Kelley takes a deep breath and chuckles and she pulls Alex close and Alex buries her face in the freckles she just traced with her eyes and her fingers and they fall asleep like that.  
  
They continue like that for weeks.  
  
They never talk about it.  
  
They spend their days with Tobin, who's so good at keeping them both calm and giving them time to focus and get their minds on something else than the thing that's between them or not between them.  
  
Alex knows she should feel bad.  
  
Bad about enjoying being so close to Kelley.  
  
Bad about enjoying it more than being with her own boyfriend.  
  
But then they're back in bed with wandering hands and eyes that won't quite meet.

Alex knows she's probably crossing a line when her fingers follow the freckles further down and she just dips her fingers under Kelley's shirt, sliding them along the hem of her shirt, from one shoulder to the other.

Her heart feels like it's going to beat out of her chest.  
  
She can feel Kelley tense for a second and her grip on her arm tightens, but then she relaxes and moves her fingers to Alex' hip and to her back and under her shirt.  
  
And Alex moves her fingers, up Kelley's neck to her jaw and her ears and back down again, along her collarbone and down her shoulders and then Kelley's hand is farther up her back, right where her bra would be if she'd be wearing one.  
  
And Alex shirt slides up a bit and then she moves her fingers down the middle of Kelley's chest, and up again and she hears it, hears Kelley's breath hitch and she feels her short nails dig into her back and down her side.  
  
Then Alex feels brave and her fingers scoot under Kelley's shirt and she can feel her abs spasm under her touch and she scratches them, once, just slightly.  
  
It's enough to make Kelley fight back a moan.  
  
Alex feels even braver and moves her hand up, up, and her fingers follow the line between Kelley's breasts and out of the shirt and she holds onto the back of Kelley's neck.  
  
She feels it, feels Kelley's soft breast press into the side of her arm and now Kelley can't hold back a moan.  
  
And then Kelley's hand is on her cheek and she feels her tilt her head slightly, but Alex _can't,_ she can't look at her.  
  
She feels it everywhere, feels _Kelley_ everywhere, in her mind, in her heart, between her legs, like the pulse in her veins and the beating of her heart and she's afraid of what might happen if she looks Kelley into the eyes.  
  
Kelley's face moves closer and then she presses their forheads together and their noses touch.  
  
And then Alex wants to draw her hand back, but she forgot that she was _under_ Kelley's shirt, so now her fingers graze a hardened nipple and -  
  
oh god.  
  
Alex doesn't know if she's ever been turned on like that.  
  
And wonders if Kelley -  
  
she looks up and into Kelley's eyes and -  
  
big mistake.  
  
Kelley's eyes are dark and hungry and Alex feels what that look does to her.  
  
Kelley's gaze flickers between Alex' eyes and down her lips and Alex puts her hand back on Kelley's chest, her fingers slowly moving along the outskirts of her breast, her eyes following their moves.  
  
"Alex."  
  
Kelley's voice is so low and so strained.  
  
"Look at me."  
  
Alex closes her eyes and when she opens them again Kelley's face is inches from hers and she's looking at her like she's asking for permission, uncertain, unsure, yet so hungry for more.  
  
And then Alex forgets even the last voice in the back of her mind telling her to stop and she fists her hand in Kelley's shirt and then she closes the gap between them and her lips meet Kelley's and -  
  
oh.  
  
Oh.  
  
Is this it?  
  
Is this what it feels like?  
  
To be -  
  
in love?  
  
Alex thinks, and then Kelley's lips part and their tongues meet and Alex feels herself burn, literally, burn.  
  
And they kiss and kiss and their hands are _everywhere_ and what started so innocently turns into a full on make out session with roaming hands.  
  
And then Alex puts her hand onto Kelley's chest, but not the middle.  
  
To the left.  
  
And she squeezes.  
  
And Kelley moans into her mouth and pulls Alex onto her, so she can have access to Alex' chest as well.  
  
Alex's knees are on each side of Kelley's hip and Alex leans back to look at Kelley under her.  
  
"Do you want to stop?"  
  
Her voice is even raspier than usual and Kelley's eyes seem to darken even more.  
  
"Do you?"  
  
She asks and Alex shakes her head.  
  
Because she _doesn't,_ she doesn't want to stop.  
  
She wants to continue and never let it end.  
  
So she leans down and kisses Kelley and -  
  
oh.  
  
There's that feeling again.  
  
And Kelley's hands are everywhere, on her back and her neck and on her chest, down her shirt and Alex can feel it, can feel the heat spreading like lava.

Alex feels like she saw her whole life blurry and kissing Kelley made her see clear and sharp.  
  
It's starts out soft and careful and cautious, with neither of them wanting to make the next move.  
  
But then Alex leans down and kisses Kelley behind her ear and she whispers:  
  
"You're so gorgeous, Kell."  
  
\- and Kelley moans and her arms wrap around Alex and she flips them around and kisses her into the mattress and then they get rid of their shirts and they're left in briefs (because they never wear more than a shirt and briefs to bed, a fact that comes in handy now).  
  
And Kelley kisses Alex' collarbone and Alex digs her fingers into Kelley's back and -  
  
it's not enough.  
  
_Nothing_ is enough.  
  
Alex wants to be closer, closer to Kelley, closer to her body, just -  
  
closer.  
  
And she moves under Kelley, rubs her legs against the mattress and against Kelley's legs and her back arches up and Kelley holds her and it's still not enough.  
  
Because Alex wants more, Alex _needs_ more, because she's on fire.  
  
She's burning with desire and each touch of Kelley's lips and Kelley's fingers feels like an erupting volcano .  
  
So she pulls Kelley down and their chests touch and -  
  
_fuck._  
  
"Fuck."  
  
Alex says it out loud and then Kelley bites down on her shoulder and -  
  
"Fuck."  
  
So Kelley keeps doing what she's been doing and she's kissing and biting and licking her way around Alex' chest and then she touches them gently, touches Alex' breasts and their eyes meet and Kelley silently asks -  
  
_is this okay?_  
  
And Alex bites her lip and nods her head and then their lips meet again and -  
  
Alex has never felt more alive.  
  
Kelley explores her chest like it's a monument, carefully and gently, with her fingers and her lips and her tongue, but then Alex can't take it anymore, she needs more, so much _more._  
  
So she grabs Kelley's face and pushes her back a bit, so she can look at her.  
  
Kelley's eyes are big and dark and Alex starts to get lost in them but then she remembers -  
  
"Please, Kell."  
  
And Kelley seems confused, she doesn't know what Alex means.  
  
So Alex kisses Kelley, kisses her hard and then she looks into her eyes again and whispers:  
  
"I need you to fuck me."  
  
And Kelley's eyes widen and her mouth opens and Alex adds:  
  
_"Please,_ Kell."  
  
And she's desperate, Alex is so desperate.  
  
But Kelley's a gentle woman, so she asks:  
  
"Are you sure? Because we, we don't have to, we don't- we can-"  
  
"Kelley."  
  
Alex warns and then she takes Kelley's hand and leads it down, down between her legs and she hears Kelley take in a sharp breath when she feels it, feels the heat and how ready Alex is, so she slowly starts touching her and -  
  
_oh god._  
  
Alex knows she won't last long.  
  
She's too worked up.  
  
And Kelley's way too good.  
  
For a split second Alex wonders if Tobin is home, if she'd hear them, but then Kelley finds the right spot and then she moans, moans so loudly that Kelley stops and sits up.  
  
"Don't you dare stop now!"  
  
Alex stares at her with wide eyes and spread legs and Kelley kisses her again, down her chest, to her hips and then she slides her panties down and Alex is naked.  
  
And Kelley is looking, she's staring, admiring.  
  
And then Alex raises an eyebrow and Kelley laughs and then she kisses up her leg again and then -  
  
_finally._  
  
Finally her lips are where Alex needs them and -  
  
"Oh sweet holy motherfucking Jesus Christ."  
  
And Kelley laughs between Alex legs and Alex laughs too and she wonders again -  
  
is this it?  
  
is this what it feels like?  
  
And then Kelley adds one finger, then two, and Alex is moving and squirming and scratching Kelley's shoulders and she's so loud and it feels so good and then Kelley's hand moves up her chest and -  
  
oh.  
  
She slightly grazes it, but it's enough for Alex.  
  
She's panting and out of breath and sweating and Kelley's fingers move out of her and Kelley's face is pressed into her stomach and then Alex tugs her upwards so she can kiss her.  
  
And she kisses her and tastes herself on Kelley's lips and -  
  
"Fuck."  
  
Kelley chuckles and wonders:  
  
"You okay?"

And she sounds and looks scared, but Alex grabs her face and kisses her until they're out of breath and then she says:  
  
"I'm more than okay."  
  
And she wants to return the favor, wants to touch and feel Kelley and her heart is beating fast, but then -  
  
Kelley grabs her wandering hand and holds it gently against her chest.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Then she kisses Alex hand and says:  
  
"This was about you. There's enough time for that another time."  
  
And she wraps her arms around Alex and whispers -  
  
"Get some rest."  
  
\- and presses a kiss to Alex head and Alex falls asleep in her arms and dreams of her and of kissing and loving her.  
  
And then she wakes up and Kelley's sprawled all over her and she's snoring slightly and it's adorable and Alex traces her freckles and -  
  
oh.  
  
Alex knows.  
  
She finally knows.  
  
Knows that this is what being in love is.  
  
Knows that she's in love.

In love with her best friend.

And she doesn't know what to do with that information, so she decides to grab her phone from the nightstand to snap a picture Kelley, to make sure she doesn't forget.  
  
But then she sees it.  
  
Sees the text message from Serv.  
  
Servando.  
  
Her boyfriend.  
  
And suddenly all comes crashing down on Alex and she realizes that she can't -  
  
she can't be in love with Kelley.  
  
Because she's with Serv.  
  
And she loves him.  
  
But she cheated on him.  
  
With Kelley.  
  
And then Kelley moves and nuzzles her face into Alex' neck and mumbles:  
  
"Mmh, love you, Al."  
  
And Alex knows.  
  
Knows that she fucked up.


End file.
